God’s Laws Work Every Time – Even In Marriage

 Karl and I are getting ready to do another Love and Respect class and a friend of mine asked an amazing question that I know I asked in my head MANY years ago but never verbalized.  I know there are many people asking that same question and Karl suggested I share my answer on my blog.  Good call, honey!

The question was:  “If a marriage that was fairly good and has lasted 25+ years still can't survive, what kind of hope does a poor, young marriage even stand?  And really, what is the point of struggling, fighting and compromising if it is going to end in divorce later anyway?”

That question hit me in-between the eyes like a 2x4!  How insightful!  And that question is even more pertinent when there are Christian marriages falling apart at the same rate as non-Christians.  Check out this one survey: Born again Christians who are not evangelical were indistinguishable from the national average on the matter of divorce: 33% have been married and divorced (http://www.barna.org/barna-update/article/15-familykids/42-new-marriage-and-divorce-statistics-released )  “What is the point” is a good question and I have the answer.

The simple, unexplained answer is that God's laws work EVERY time, without question.  His laws in regards to finances, marriage, parenting – everything – just work.  If there is something going wrong, it is because of a glitch in us - we are short circuiting God's word.   We didn’t meet our future spouse and say to each other, ‘I hate you, you hate me, let’s get married!’  We had to have loved at some point!  So, what happened?

More often than not, what we have seen is selfishness – what’s in it for ME. Instead of, ‘what can I do for you’, it's ‘what are you going to do for me’.  It isn’t easy to have the servant’s heart when someone is a jerk.  And, of course, I am never a jerk.  snicker

So, what are God’s laws in regards to marriage?  How can we hop off the crazy cycle and actually make this thing called marriage work?

When you observe the marriages that HAVE stayed together, you will see two of God's perfect laws working together - Love and Respect. These are irrefutable laws that work.  This is where it doesn’t matter if it is a Christian or non-Christian marriage.  If the laws are being practiced, it will be blessed.  It’s a law – every law observed and practiced is blessed.  Is every marriage perfect with no arguments? Not a chance - we are working with people. In fact, we are working with two people who speak two different languages – blue and pink (if you come to our class, you’ll learn about that!)  But if blue and pink are working within God's laws, there is no way it can fail. I promise you. This is a guarantee!

I love being able to say that - guarantee. Karl and I guarantee that if couples will follow the Love and Respect laws, they will have a great marriage.

It’s funny because Karl and I just found ourselves on the crazy cycle this morning.  It’s so funny because it was about this very subject.  He said something that I misunderstood because he speaks a different language than I do.  We both were saying the same thing but hearing it in different ways, so we (ok, actually it was capital I, as in me, moi, mua) took offense and made a deal out of it.   BUT, because we have the tools and APPLY those tools to the situation, we can turn it around and make it all better in a very short period of time. 

I have to admit, Karl is better at this than I am.  (Hopefully he won’t be reading this anytime soon….heehee).  The thing is, I think that may be the case in a lot of marriages.  Women, in general, have a harder time showing respect to their husbands than the men have in showing love to their wives.  I may be all wet in regards to this and I’d love to hear from you.  I can only speak from my own experience with Karl while applying these laws to our marriage.  We both have to work hard at applying our Kingdom law of Love or Respect.  However, society as a whole has been demasculizing (my spell check says that isn’t even a word, but I’m making it one for this particular instance) our men for so long, we as women don’t even know how to respect them. 

Ok – I could now go on forever about this subject, but I can’t cram a whole seven week series and many years of experience on the subject into one little ol’ blog.  If there is interest and if there are questions posed, we can go into it more. 

All of this to say – I can guarantee a successful marriage through God’s laws.  It does take active participation on the part of those asking and I thank my friend for being bold enough to ask the question and insightful enough to know that question even exists. 

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It's Time - The Perfect Storm is coming

I'm sitting here in the wee morning hours with thoughts of transparency running through my brain.  When writing something for the whole world to see, how transparent to I go?

When thinking about transparency in the realm of my walk with God, it's VERY personal.  What I am sharing are things God has used to help me understand Him and His Kingdom in simple human form. And I need to share this personal, intimate time because it opens up a world of understanding about how I have struggles like everyone else but have found a solid rock to stand on in the midst of a storm.  How I've walked through poverty, prosperity, death, a wild life, a serene life, the ups and downs with children, marriages (yes, I'm in a second marriage), work, friends, etc.  How being a Christian didn't change who I was, it just helped me define who I am - honed me and directed my path with clearer vision.  It's like I took Clariton and I can now see clearly!

When I started my walk with God, it was out of desperation.  I NEEDED to know He was real.  The choices I had made in life had driven me to my knees - life was spinning out of control and I needed to know there was a place I could go for help.  I was in a 911 state - I HAD to have help......NOW. 

But there were barriers in place that made it hard for me to initially turn to God.  You see, the "God" I understood before searching out my own answers were the beliefs of others through osmosis of being around them - parents, churches, friends of parents, etc.  I sometimes didn't like what I saw - hypocrisy, judgement, fear, anger, lust, poverty - and I wondered why do I need Jesus to condemn me when Christians did that for me and seemed to have the same issues as everyone else, they were just burdened with the task of trying to be good.  If I couldn't get it exactly right, I might as well live it up and enjoy life.  Who needed all that condemnation?

After searching all of the world's offerings for help (that list is extensive!), I decided to try Jesus.  And because He proves Himself to be faithful (which took me a bit of testing to make sure - I wanted to be "safe"), Jesus is the only answer.  Quite frankly, without Him, who knows where I'd be today.  But because of Him, I'm in the best marriage God could ever provide with a soul mate to help me move through this course called life.

So, back to transparency - like the boat pictured at the top.....Transparency can be a cool thing.  Imagine going out on that boat in the shallow waters.  How cool to see the sandy bottom and little minnows (or whatever you see in the shallow waters!).  It's harmless and, well, shallow!

However, when you start moving out into the deeper waters, bigger, scarier creatures are able to be seen and all you have is a thin layer of plexiglass between it and you!  If you don't SEE that creature, it's better because you can't be afraid of something you don't see.  Bigger waves and scarier storms can come along and have the potential to capsize your boat if you aren't experienced to maneuver your boat in the deeper waters.

Hence the parallelism with life:  when we are shallow in life, it seems to be really simple.  There aren't many things to see and life stays seemingly calm.  When you move into the depths of your heart, tho, it can get really scary.  The hurts or the feelings of inadequacy.  The feeling of drowning in sorrow, grief, or sadness.

This is where real transparency with God is necessary.  Without it, we continue to go back to shallow waters and hop back in a boat that you can't see through.   Then, we can just ignore the problem and it goes away, right?  Rrrrriiiiiiiiggggggghhhhht!  (and I say that with rolling eyes!)  I've lived that life, too.  The problems are never gone until put to death.  You will either choose to stay in the shallow waters and be a shallow person or you will choose to learn how to maneuver that boat in the deeper waters and become the real person God created you to be.  Yes, you were created for a purpose.  It's just most people choose not to go into the deep waters to find out what that purpose is.

God has helped me go WAY out in the clear-bottomed boat.  I've rowed the rough seas, I've capsized a few times, I've been snapped at by many big creatures of the sea (even bitten a time or two!), I've swallowed the salty water and I've put to death MANY problems through walking with Jesus.  Because I've been there, I can turn a lending hand to help others be bold and venture from the shallow waters.

It's time - we don't have time to mess around!  I don't care where you are - shallow or deep waters - you can feel the storm coming.  This is a perfect storm and we MUST be prepared!  Become the experienced captain of your boat and let me help you.

This website and its content is copyright of OverallSolution - © OverallSolution 2012. All rights reserved.

Getting started

Ok – I have a series of writings I’ve recorded and felt I should share.  But which one do I start with?  What do I say to get the ball going?  Shouldn’t a foundation be laid, first?  Maybe I’ll just wait until tomorrow.  Of course, that’s what I said last November and here it is the end of January!

See how doubt and fear can creep into our lives and stop us from doing the VERY thing we have felt a tug to do?  If we sit on our laurels for too long, the enemy will be in victory and we will have shut the door on God and a direction he is leading.  God has such great plans for our lives and WE are the ones who shut the door because we are too afraid to step out. 

God has given us EVERYTHING we need in life.  This scripture was SOOOOO exciting for me:  Genesis 1:11,12  Then God said, “Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb that yields seed, and the fruit tree that yields fruit according to its kind, whose seed is in itself, on the earth”; and it was so.  And the earth brought forth grass, the herb that yields seed according to its kind and the tree that yields fruit, whose seed is in itself according to its kind.  And God saw that I was good.

I’ve read this scripture hundreds of times, but did you catch “whose seed is in itself”?????  We have ALL that we need within ourselves RIGHT NOW.  Even before we were born, we had who we were to be and where we were to be planted within us.   With this thought, let’s take a look at how a seed grows. 

It’s planted in the ground with dirt on top.  It is dead.  It gets rained on and something starts to stir within.  Rain, sun, rain, sun.  The little seed cracks open and has to push up through the dirt and when it finally pops through, ahhhhh, the sun!  Then, to grow, it needs more sun, rain, sun, rain. 

Do you see how this parallels our lives?  Every human has a “seed” planted inside – designed with purpose – with GOD’S purpose.  However, some of us never get planted so we remain “dead”.  We remain outside of God’s will for us and never have the chance to receive the rain and sun to grow. 

Then there are some who are planted but complain and whine because of all the dirt.  They don’t want the dirt to have to push through, so they move from place to place, person to person, etc. and never really grow roots and push up through the dirt to become the true “plant” of God.  They see the kind of “plant” someone else is becoming and they want to be like them!  So they try to be something different,  or chase after something that isn’t their calling.

Only those who are willing to make the choice of staying, pushing, and receiving the water and sun are the ones who will see Kingdom principles working in their lives.  Those who are willing to stay the course through thick and thin, through the hard and easy times.

I’m one who is pushing through the dirt.  I’m planted and will stay the course – My God has delivered me from the pits of hell and brought me to a place of redemption.  I have no other desire than to bloom where I’ve been planted and grow to ALL God would have me be.  Because of this dedication, I’ve been rewarded, just as you can be.  Because my brain has to know how things work in simplistic ways, God has given me pictures and visions of His Kingdom and how it works.  He wants me to write them down and help others see it clearly, too.

Another reason why I need to write it down is because I need help!  The minute my fingers start writing, all the thoughts bouncing around in my head become clear (kind of like this little introduction).  At first, it may start out as a title and the more I write, the clearer it becomes.  Then, when I reread what’s been written, God shows me more.  Then there are times when I start out with a crystal clear picture in my head that’s so vivid and real, I can’t type fast enough to get the thoughts written down. 

At the beginning of this note, I was experiencing fog.  I wanted to get this blog up and running but confusion had set in on which one to post first.  The minute I started writing, my first post has become a reality – the seed popped open and is now above the dirt.  My next post will be about the dirt in life that diverts our attention away from what we really should be doing in life.

I ask you to please follow me – I don’t claim to have all the answers, I just claim to have a personal relationship with The One who DOES!  If you don’t have a personal relationship with Jesus, maybe you can see Him in a different light.  If you do have a personal relationship with Jesus, maybe these writings will help you grow a stronger relationship with Him.  Whatever the case, I humbly present some personal moments with the Savior of all – The One who has all the answers, loves us beyond measure and can remove the doubt and fear in our lives if we let Him.

This website and its content is copyright of OverallSolution - © OverallSolution 2012. All rights reserved.