Monday, January 30, 2012

God’s Laws Work Every Time – Even In Marriage


 Karl and I are getting ready to do another Love and Respect class and a friend of mine asked an amazing question that I know I asked in my head MANY years ago but never verbalized.  I know there are many people asking that same question and Karl suggested I share my answer on my blog.  Good call, honey!

The question was:  “If a marriage that was fairly good and has lasted 25+ years still can't survive, what kind of hope does a poor, young marriage even stand?  And really, what is the point of struggling, fighting and compromising if it is going to end in divorce later anyway?”

That question hit me in-between the eyes like a 2x4!  How insightful!  And that question is even more pertinent when there are Christian marriages falling apart at the same rate as non-Christians.  Check out this one survey: Born again Christians who are not evangelical were indistinguishable from the national average on the matter of divorce: 33% have been married and divorced (http://www.barna.org/barna-update/article/15-familykids/42-new-marriage-and-divorce-statistics-released )  “What is the point” is a good question and I have the answer.

The simple, unexplained answer is that God's laws work EVERY time, without question.  His laws in regards to finances, marriage, parenting – everything – just work.  If there is something going wrong, it is because of a glitch in us - we are short circuiting God's word.   We didn’t meet our future spouse and say to each other, ‘I hate you, you hate me, let’s get married!’  We had to have loved at some point!  So, what happened?

More often than not, what we have seen is selfishness – what’s in it for ME. Instead of, ‘what can I do for you’, it's ‘what are you going to do for me’.  It isn’t easy to have the servant’s heart when someone is a jerk.  And, of course, I am never a jerk.  snicker

So, what are God’s laws in regards to marriage?  How can we hop off the crazy cycle and actually make this thing called marriage work?

When you observe the marriages that HAVE stayed together, you will see two of God's perfect laws working together - Love and Respect. These are irrefutable laws that work.  This is where it doesn’t matter if it is a Christian or non-Christian marriage.  If the laws are being practiced, it will be blessed.  It’s a law – every law observed and practiced is blessed.  Is every marriage perfect with no arguments? Not a chance - we are working with people. In fact, we are working with two people who speak two different languages – blue and pink (if you come to our class, you’ll learn about that!)  But if blue and pink are working within God's laws, there is no way it can fail. I promise you. This is a guarantee!

I love being able to say that - guarantee. Karl and I guarantee that if couples will follow the Love and Respect laws, they will have a great marriage.

It’s funny because Karl and I just found ourselves on the crazy cycle this morning.  It’s so funny because it was about this very subject.  He said something that I misunderstood because he speaks a different language than I do.  We both were saying the same thing but hearing it in different ways, so we (ok, actually it was capital I, as in me, moi, mua) took offense and made a deal out of it.   BUT, because we have the tools and APPLY those tools to the situation, we can turn it around and make it all better in a very short period of time. 

I have to admit, Karl is better at this than I am.  (Hopefully he won’t be reading this anytime soon….heehee).  The thing is, I think that may be the case in a lot of marriages.  Women, in general, have a harder time showing respect to their husbands than the men have in showing love to their wives.  I may be all wet in regards to this and I’d love to hear from you.  I can only speak from my own experience with Karl while applying these laws to our marriage.  We both have to work hard at applying our Kingdom law of Love or Respect.  However, society as a whole has been demasculizing (my spell check says that isn’t even a word, but I’m making it one for this particular instance) our men for so long, we as women don’t even know how to respect them. 

Ok – I could now go on forever about this subject, but I can’t cram a whole seven week series and many years of experience on the subject into one little ol’ blog.  If there is interest and if there are questions posed, we can go into it more. 

All of this to say – I can guarantee a successful marriage through God’s laws.  It does take active participation on the part of those asking and I thank my friend for being bold enough to ask the question and insightful enough to know that question even exists. 

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